Podcast Archives - Mary Tess Rooney

EP247: Grief Beyond Death

Sometimes it hits us out of nowhere. That heaviness in the chest. The ache behind the smile. We usually reserve the word “grief” for death, but what about all the other losses we quietly carry?

In this episode, I share personal reflections on how grief can show up in transitions that have nothing to do with someone passing. From divorces, moves, and job changes to letting go of dreams that didn’t come true, grief is often hiding in plain sight. I open up about what it felt like to mourn the life I thought I’d have and how that process shaped the person I am today.

On this Wise Walk, we slow down to check our reality and honor the losses that don’t always get acknowledged. Whether you’re holding space for yourself or someone you love, I hope this conversation reminds you that your feelings are valid, your identity is evolving, and you’re not alone.

- Where in your life are you holding space for a dream or hope that hasn’t turned out the way you envisioned?
- Are you allowing yourself to mourn what didn’t come into your life so you can feel your emotions and move forward?
- Are you holding space for grief as you navigate life’s transitions and emotional shifts?
- Are you or someone you love grieving something right now, even if life looks steady on the surface?
- Are you watching someone struggle and you feel grief of not being able to step in or fix it?
- Are you in a relationship shift where the identity of who you were as a couple no longer exists?
- Are you trying to redefine what life looks like—either together or apart—while honoring what you both gave?
- Are you grieving a loss caused by tragedy, natural disaster, or the collective anxiety of today’s world?
- Are you allowing yourself to grieve and release emotions in the way they naturally arise for you?
- Do you need to cry, talk, dance, listen to music, or connect with someone to let it out?
- Are you recognizing that even joyous moments, like watching a child grow up, can carry grief?
- Where are you feeling uncertain about your identity or where you’re headed next?
- Can you acknowledge that your past identities are still part of you, even as you evolve?
- Can you hold space for your own growth and also for the transformation of those you love?
- Are you keeping your connections alive through memories and stories that still bring meaning?

I can feel a new chapter unfolding, even if I don’t know exactly what it looks like yet. What brings me peace is knowing that I’m grounded in every version of who I’ve been.

I hope you take time to honor your own evolution and hold space for all the parts of you that helped you get here. Until next time, keep reading the signs, directing your path, and getting your stride on.

In this episode:

[03:29] There are so many emotionally heavy things going on in this world. You would be perfectly okay to hold space for mourning or grief.

[04:07] Big transitions create a death of identity, of who we once were or hope to be.

[05:40] How my divorce was a big transition and change of my hopes and dreams. I had to reinvent myself.

[10:37] A dear friend of mine just lost her father. I asked about her memories of him and she shared two very powerful stories.

[12:36] Oftentimes when we’re mourning, we shy away from talking about memories that can bring up pain or sadness.

[13:18] Tapping into those memories keeps the connection alive.

[15:12] I’m grateful to recall elements of my past identity so that I don’t forget them.

[17:27] I feel a major life change coming towards me. I’m also holding space and having gratitude for the mini life changes that have made me who I am.

Memorable Quotes:

“So often in life, we only view death as the impetus for true grief, but there are so many other moments we deserve to grieve.” – Mary Tess
“Every experience changes us. If we hold space for it and honor it, we grow with each evolution of ourselves.” – Mary Tess
“You’re not losing those identities. You’re just continuing to evolve.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

EP246: When Being Wrong Feels Right

Ever had that moment where you’re sure you’ve won an argument but the victory feels hollow? I have. For the longest time I thought being right was the key to connection. Turns out it often does the opposite.

In this episode I’m sharing a big shift in my own thinking around what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”. What I used to consider a moral compass now feels like a self imposed limitation. I’ve been learning to sit with the idea that multiple truths can and do exist at the same time.

I’ll be sharing some stories from my own life and the lessons I’ve learned about how letting go of the need to be right has, ironically, led to a much deeper understanding of myself and the people around me. We’ll also talk about how perfectionism plays into this and the freedom that comes with embracing uncertainty and having your perspectives change.

If you’ve ever felt weird when you receive praise or found yourself stuck in black and white thinking, I invite you to join me on this Wise Walk. Let’s talk about what it really looks like to choose connection over being correct and find the wisdom that’s waiting for us in the gray areas.

- Have you been in a heated discussion where someone ends up saying you’re right, but instead of feeling satisfied, you realize you just want to feel understood and connected on a deeper level?
- Have you ever been unsure if you’re right or wrong but still deeply wanted to feel seen, heard, and understood for what you’re going through?
- Are there moments in your life where you could shift your mindset away from black and white thinking and open yourself to the colorful shades of gray, letting go of comparison and competition?
- Are there areas in your life where you once felt absolutely certain about something, only to look back later and realize your perspective has changed?
- Can you see where your past attachment to being right may have limited your growth or kept you from new insights?
- Where in your life can you start approaching situations with a more cooperative rather than competitive mindset, allowing for a fuller expression of different truths?
- The next time someone says you’re right or wrong, can you notice what comes up in you and whether it invites more connection or causes a shutdown?
- What can you do in those moments to build trust, encourage dialogue, and bring people together rather than drive a wedge?

Thanks for spending this time with me. I hope this conversation helped you reflect on your own journey with right and wrong, and maybe gave you a new way to look at connection. I’ll be back next Thursday with another Wise Walk, so until then, keep tuning in, stay open, and get your stride on.

In this episode:

[04:33] I remember being passionate and advocating for what I firmly believed in. I felt sincere satisfaction when the other person said that I was right.

[05:04] This doesn’t always bring us closer together.

[06:33] We can all be right according to our own experiences. Maybe we can come to a sympathetic understanding.

[07:36] This also frees us from perfectionism.

[10:20] The more we learn. The more we realize we don’t know everything.

[12:17] We are constantly evolving.

[14:34] Saying you are right may stop the conversation.

[17:04] I’m at a state of life where I embrace being wrong. Being wrong is an opportunity for growth and to hear the other person’s experiences.

Memorable Quotes:

“Being right doesn’t actually fulfill me. I just want to feel understood and connected on a deeper level.” – Mary Tess
“I view being wrong as an opportunity for growth, to come together and see each other in ways that are deep and meaningful.” – Mary Tess
“Let’s move away from comparison and competition and toward cooperation and curiosity.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

EP245: Explore Risks Worth Taking

Have you ever caught yourself picking comfort over curiosity, even when there’s that little voice inside urging you to be braver? I know I have. In this episode, I’m diving into what it really feels like to take emotional risks. Vulnerability isn’t exactly a walk in the park, it can be awkward and even a bit scary, but I’ve found it’s also where the best connections and self-discoveries happen.

One of our Striders sent in a message that got me thinking about the times I’ve actually dared to step out of my comfort zone. Honestly, those moments have shaped me in ways I never expected. Whether I was putting myself out there in the dating world, launching this podcast, or just letting myself lean into the unknown, I’ve noticed that real growth almost always involves some kind of risk.

I’ll also talk about how fear and resistance seem to pop up right before something important is about to happen. So, as we take a little time to slow down together, I want to invite you on a Wise Walk with me. Let’s check in with ourselves and see where we might be playing it too safe and maybe, just maybe, where a little extra courage could lead to something amazing.

- Where in your life have you gotten into a pattern of playing it safe, accepting the norm, and not pushing your own limits?
- Are there moments when something sparks your interest, even if it feels a little risky or scary?
- Can you give yourself a gentle nudge to say, this is scary, but I’m going to try it anyway?
- What are the things in your life that feel natural because you’ve embraced them and seen how they’ve helped you grow?
- Where have you made new friends, gained fresh perspectives, or discovered new interests?
- How can you take all of that past growth and apply it to your next edge—something that feels risky but also full of love or possibility?
- Is there someone in your life who’s been playing it safe, even though they’ve expressed a desire for more?
- Can you share this episode or the idea of opening their heart to risk, so they can experience the fulfillment that comes on the other side?

Thank you for spending this time with me. I can’t wait to hear how this conversation inspires you to take a small risk or open your heart in a new way. Feel free to share your reflections or stories anytime.

Be sure to join me next Thursday for another Wise Walk, where we’ll keep exploring how a little courage can lead to something truly rewarding. Until then, keep reading the signs, trust your path, and don’t forget to prioritize fun as you get your stride on.

In this episode:

[03:34] Occasionally, I’ll go on a dating app. I put myself out there. I would be super psyched to find a male companion who wanted to do fun activities with me.

[04:26] It’s easy for me to get into a pattern of just doing things with friends and family.

[05:05] I love the fact that I’m not afraid to put myself out there. My profile is active.

[06:07] I also have friends who are seeking romantic partners but are terrified of the dating apps.

[08:30] The other area of my life where I felt anxiety and resistance was doing this podcast. I was terrified of stepping up to the microphone 5 years ago.

[09:13] I continue to get messages from Striders that light me up.

[10:02] If I can reach one person each week, I feel like this is a worthwhile experience for me and you.

[12:29] There’s a couple areas of my life where I may be playing it too safe. I’m going to reflect on that. I’m going to take more risk and encourage myself to grow. I ask you to do the same.

[13:11] When we explore our limits. We can see what feels right and what feels off.

Memorable Quotes:

“I’m grateful that we continue to nurture this dynamic of being vulnerable, because that’s where true connection happens.” – Mary Tess
“We’re constantly growing, constantly evolving, and learning so much about ourselves along the way.” – Mary Tess
“There’s resistance when you feel that risk, but if you see yourself through it, there’s love and growth on the other side.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

EP244: Open Yourself to Love

Something unexpected happened this morning that touched my heart and made me remember how important it is to be open. I grabbed my well-loved copy of Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie as I got ready to teach yoga. Usually, I read the meditation that was prescribed for that day, but this time I ended up on a page I wasn’t supposed to. I felt like the meditation selected me, not the other way around. It was called “It’s Safe to Open Your Heart.”

That message rang home for me, especially after something had happened recently that made me want to shut down and shield my heart. But instead of backing away, I leaned forward. I began to think about how patterns from the past, especially those that originated in childhood, still affect how I love and be loved today. This episode is about gently seeing those patterns, letting go of where we’ve hardened, and deciding to be open even when it seems risky.

So, on this week’s Wise Walk, we’ll look at areas we could be protecting our hearts and how we might let love, connection, and healing in while still keeping healthy boundaries. You’re not the only one who has ever felt the pull between being vulnerable and protecting yourself. Let’s go through it together and find strength in our weakness.

- Do you feel it’s safe to open your heart right now, or are you guarding it in your personal or professional life?
- Can you set healthy boundaries to manage fear or stress so you can open your heart and see what’s possible?
- Where in your life are you shielding yourself from past hurts out of fear of being vulnerable?
- Have you ever given people an easy out even when you truly wanted them to show up?
- What do you risk by telling someone you genuinely want them there—and what might you gain?
- Are you willing to be vulnerable and let the world fully receive your love?
- Where can you stay open to your big, beautiful, vulnerable love while creating healthy boundaries?
- Are you mindfully protecting your energy from those who can’t meet you with love right now?
- Can you recognize the love that deserves all of you and resist falling back into old protection patterns?
- Are you willing to keep evolving and let your heart stay safely open as you grow?

Thanks for sharing this space with me today. As you move through the week, I hope you feel safe to open your heart and stay connected to the love that surrounds you. Until next time, keep honoring your stride and choosing what feels true.

In this episode:

[04:30] After my parents divorced, I had a challenging relationship with my father. My mother did the best she could to raise us four girls.

[05:08] I saw unconditional love from my mother, but I felt like my father’s love had conditions. I felt like I couldn’t depend on him, so I developed a pattern where I wouldn’t ask for much from him.

[06:16] I was shielding myself from vulnerability, because I didn’t want to feel the pain from being disappointed.

[07:04] This pattern came through in my adult relationships.

[08:35] I wasn’t being fully vulnerable when I gave people an out.

[11:14] Last week I got hurt by someone I care about. They unexpectedly disappointed me.

[12:06] When I’m hurt, I physically protect my heart. I want my heart center open so I can give and receive love.

[13:23] I was choosing heart openers in yoga this morning. Our hearts deserve to feel open and safe.

[14:04] I am consciously working on healing and growing and making sure my past doesn’t affect my present or future.

[15:23] Even though I got hurt, loving and putting myself out there to that risk is worth it.

[16:33] You can still feel safe to open your heart and have healthy boundaries.

[17:55] I will still hold space for them and compassionate space for myself.

[20:35] I read page 329 of Journey to the Heart.

[21:41] Engage in practices that help you keep your heart open.

Memorable Quotes:

“I want my heart center fully open because I want to give and receive love in the fullest expansion form.” – Mary Tess
“I am consciously working on healing and growing and making sure that my past doesn’t necessarily direct my present or my future.” – Mary Tess
“Go after and bring more of that love, give more of it, and receive more of it” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul

EP243: In Service of…

What does it truly mean to be in service to others, your community, and yourself? Last week, I had the incredible opportunity to speak in front of 150 mental health therapists and group practice owners. They are compassionate leaders who manage dedicated teams committed to helping individuals navigate life’s challenging moments with thoughtfulness, healing and care. Witnessing their dedication inspired deep reflection on how we show up not only for others, but also for ourselves.

In this episode, I share insights from this meaningful experience, exploring the importance of efficient structures and mindful self-care practices that allow these professionals to sustain their vital work. Drawing from my own personal journeys through divorce, miscarriage, managing the impacts of alcoholism, and living with cancer for the past 23 years, I highlight the universal need for feeling seen, heard, and supported.

Join me on today’s Wise Walk as we ask ourselves these questions.

- Are you in service of yourself or only focused on serving others?
- How are you honoring your emotions and what calls to you?
- Are you giving yourself space to heal from past experiences you still carry?
- What does being in service of your own healing and needs look like right now?
- How can you support your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being today?
- As you walk forward, what area of your life is calling for more attention?
- How can you be in service of others and still hold space for yourself?
- Are there areas of your life that feel out of balance?
- Have you gone all in at work and postponed your personal needs?
- Have you created the space and structure to return energy to yourself?
- What does commitment to yourself look like in real terms?
- What can you map out or follow through on to meet your current needs?
- How are you setting intentions and creating boundaries that support you?
- Are you currently balanced in serving others and serving yourself?
- Do your efforts feel sustainable or are they tipping too far in one direction?
- Is it time to set a new intention or reevaluate your current focus?
- Are you clear on your needs and creating awareness around them?
- How are you setting boundaries that honor your commitments and values?
- How can others support you when you’re clear about what you need?

Thank you for joining me on this Wise Walk. As you move through the week, remember to honor your needs, set clear intentions, and stay aligned with your heart. I’ll see you next Thursday until then, get your stride on.

In this episode:

[06:11] Over the past few months, I feel like I’ve been called to be in service of my family and to support them. It felt aligned, because I love my family and want what’s best for them.

[07:15] I now feel fatigued, and I’m going to take the next month to be in service of myself. It’s time to get back to my own supportive healing practices.

[08:49] My family has needs, but I need to set up healthy boundaries so I don’t lose myself in the process.

[11:03] I love how this collective of 150 brilliant humans were committing to themselves just by attending the conference.

[12:06] I also loved the opportunity to network.

[13:53] Cherish the successes, the whoopsies, and everything in between.

[16:18] How we care for ourselves and others are all interwoven.

[17:52] Another amazing thing that happened is we got more Striders.

[19:05] There’s a heartbeat behind these self-reflective questions, because this is an opportunity to go within and find the answers within your own beautiful heart.

Memorable Quotes:

“You are perfect exactly as you are. Whatever you’re going through, support is always a gift.” – Mary Tess
“When we are honoring who we are, when we are aligning with who we are, we have more to give this world.” – Mary Tess
“Being in service to others doesn’t mean losing yourself in the process.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

Mindsight Partners

Kasey Compton

EP242: Feel Without Explanation

I’ve come to realize that not every decision needs to be backed by logic or explained away with reasons. When I was recently invited to take on a regular yoga teaching role, I immediately started listing all the practical benefits. But something felt off. The more I tried to rationalize a yes, the more I knew in my heart it was really a no. That experience reminded me how powerful it can be to pause, listen inward, and honor what feels aligned, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.

On today’s Wise Walk, I’m sharing how I’ve been learning to let my heart lead, how that shift has created more balance and peace in my life, and how I’ve stopped over explaining my feelings just to make others comfortable. Together, we’ll explore how to trust that inner knowing, hold space for our emotions, and let our feelings guide us forward.

- When you consider options in your life, do you lead with logic or drop into your heart to listen?
- Do you have enough experience to trust your heart’s wisdom, or is that still a muscle you’re building?
- Do you tend to lead from your intellect more than your heart, and is that something you want to reflect on?
- When someone offers you an opportunity, can you check in with your heart and honor how it feels?
- If it doesn’t feel right, can you communicate a simple no without explaining or justifying it?
- Do you find yourself trying to make others comfortable with your “no” by offering logic or reasons?
- Can you give yourself grace and stop explaining your heart-centered decisions to others?
- Can you accept your own inner knowing without needing outside validation or agreement?
- When someone doesn’t understand your perspective, can you simply share your feelings and hold space?
- Are you able to let your feelings speak for themselves, even without words or logic to explain them?
- Where can you hold space for someone stuck in “should” thinking and gently ask how they feel instead?
- Can you fully accept someone’s emotional truth without needing them to justify or explain it?
- Can you allow a feeling—yours or someone else’s—to stand on its own and be accepted as it is?

Thank you for walking with me today. I’m so grateful we can hold space for each other as we lead with our hearts.

In this episode:

[02:46] I reflect back on times when logic has taken over my decisions. Sometimes logic and rationale will get us to the place we need to go.

[03:34] There are times when it’s not an intellectual decision or about rationale. We need to give ourselves permission to listen and lead with our hearts.

[04:34] I was rationalizing saying yes to teaching yoga when in my heart I knew the answer needed to be no.

[05:28] There was a heart knowingness before I even made the decision.

[06:01] My heart did feel good about teaching yoga every other week.

[07:32] In the past, I would try to come up with rationale when something didn’t feel right.

[09:59] Wise Walk big takeaway: Accept and allow my feelings to speak for themselves without having to explain or justify.

[11:10] I don’t have an explanation. I’m just trying to accept and honor my feelings.

[13:07] Because we’ve all been raised with belief systems and expectations, it makes holding space for our feelings challenging.

[16:04] This week I’m going to be very aware of when people make “I should” instead of “I feel” statements.

Memorable Quotes:

“What feels aligned to you matters more than what makes sense to someone else.” – Mary Tess
“I love how when we feel our way forward, there is this expansiveness and we also don’t have to justify our answers.” – Mary Tess
“Just make peace with your feelings and hold them sacred in your own heart.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

EP241: Leading Your Way

I’ve always believed that good leadership starts with staying true to yourself. Back when I was managing high-stakes corporate projects, I learned that the only way to turn things around was to lead in a way that felt natural to me, not just copy someone else’s approach. That lesson came back to me recently during a challenging moment in a volunteer role that I had held for years.

Someone criticized the way I had been running things, and instead of pushing back, I chose to step aside. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it gave me the space to reflect on what leadership really means and how sometimes the strongest move is to let someone else step in and learn, even if they stumble a bit along the way.

As we go on this week’s Wise Walk together, I’m sharing what that experience taught me about boundaries, authenticity, and the value of stepping away when something no longer feels aligned.

- Where are you currently being asked to lead in your life?
- When you take on a project, initative or event, do you have full freedom and support to carry it out in a way that feels authentic to you?
- Do you stay true to your vision when others try to steer you toward a path that feels misaligned?
- Is there a leadership role where it might be time to step aside for someone more passionate and vocal?
- Have you led something successfully yet begun hearing restless feedback about doing it differently?
- If people bring fresh ideas, are you willing to invite them to lead and let their vision unfold?
- Can you hand off the reins smoothly, set the new leader up for success, and settle into a supportive back seat?
- How does it feel to ride along, caring about the destination but no longer steering the bus?
- Can you give the new leader space to stumble and learn just as you once did?
- As they take charge, can you appreciate how far you’ve already brought everyone on the journey?

Thanks for joining me on this Wise Walk. I hope it reminded you that staying true to yourself is always the best path forward. Until next time, read the signs, direct your path and get your stride on.

In this episode:

[08:01] I felt judgment and under attack when this individual criticized how I was leading a project. It was also disheartening because my efforts and leadership benefited many individuals for over 6 years.

[09:18] It was hurtful to hear criticism instead of collaboration and helpfulness.

[10:03] I reflected on my professional experience and decided it was time to pass the baton.

[11:52] I knew when it comes to leading something that matters, that I can only drive the bus the way I know.

[12:34] I want people involved to be part of the solution and not criticize afterwards.

[13:14] Taking a step back has freed me to do other things in my life.

[15:53] It’s important for me to remember the fact that they don’t know what they don’t know.

[17:14] It’s always easier to come in on things that you don’t have full visibility to.

[19:30] I am so grateful for our Wise Walks that give me the ability to self-reflect and process some of these things that go on in my own life and welcome in other’s experiences, challenges and perspectives.

[20:20] The biggest takeaway for me is to lead your way. Lead authentically and if it’s not in alignment, take a step back or get off the bus entirely.

Memorable Quotes:

“Clarity comes when you give yourself permission to step back and trust what feels right.” – Mary Tess
“Lead in a way that aligns with your truth, not someone else’s expectations.” – Mary Tess
“Giving others space and grace allows them to stumble, learn, and eventually shine.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

EP240: Mission Possible

Have you ever started a big project and wondered how you would ever pull it off? I felt that way recently when it came time to prep my house for sale, and just thinking about all the steps involved made the whole thing feel heavy. But then something beautiful happened. A good friend stepped in, and with her help, what once felt impossible started to feel exciting and even fun.

On today’s Wise Walk, we are talking about what it means to find your “mission impossible” partner, the person who shows up with energy, ideas, and that can-do spirit that makes a daunting task feel doable. We will explore how to spot what is holding you back, how to create space for your dreams, and why the right support can completely change your experience of a challenge.

Let’s slow down and get real about the power of asking for help, the magic of clearing emotional and physical clutter, and the joy that comes from turning what once felt overwhelming into something light, energizing, and full of possibility.

Are you feeling called to do something that feels heavy emotionally, physically, energetically, or spiritually, like a mission impossible?
As you sit with that idea, is there someone you can call and say, this is what I am envisioning, dreaming, and being called to do?
Can you ask them to help you mission impossible the crap out of it and block time together to make it happen?
Are you willing to give yourself the space and time to turn that mission from impossible to possible?
When you think about what feels impossible, what is holding you back or weighing you down?
Is there a way to lighten that physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual block so you can move forward?
Do you have a sounding board or expert you can call upon for support and fresh ideas?
Are you sharing your mission with others who might have time or energy to help you?
Who in your life can make your mission not just possible, but fun, light, and energizing?
Are you asking the right people who genuinely want to support you and see your mission succeed?
Do you have fun-filled people in your life who can help you turn the impossible into possible?
Are you willing to share your vision so those who care about you can help bring it to life?

I hope you are dreaming big, clearing any blockages, and leaning on the friends and sounding boards who lift you up.

Whenever the timing feels right, take those steps toward making your mission possible.

As always, I would love to hear what you took away from today’s episode.

In this episode:

[03:46] I’m ready to put my house back on the market. It’s stressful being on call to show the house.

[05:11] I’ve been trying to process the type of experience I want to have. When the realtor calls, I want to take the dogs and go.

[06:05] I reached out to my friend Katie. She volunteered to help me mission impossible.

[08:00] She has a great eye for real estate. We have been clearing any distractor.

[10:35] I don’t love the idea of storage units. In this scenario it’s helpful.

[12:24] I’m donating stuff to bring other people joy. It feels expansive and lighter.

[14:38] I love the fact that Katie is just as excited to make it happen.

[15:10] We can do this in any part of our life. If we figure out the mission and the barriers and who or what can help us.

[17:23] I’m super grateful because Katie and I still have five days to continue to our work.

Memorable Quotes:

“Making the decision sometimes is the hard part. But following through and clearing things, that’s another hard part.” – Mary Tess

“We are getting creative. We are working together. And we are making this mission possible.” – Mary Tess

“We don’t need to change who we are, but we can free up space so others can see the potential for themselves.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources: