When I first started yoga and became a teacher in 2009, one of the biggest lessons I learned was to leave your ego at the door. In the spiritual world, we talk about the dangers of the ego, how it can make us competitive, resistant to feedback, or push us into things that don’t feel aligned. I loved that perspective at the time. It reminded me yoga isn’t about keeping up with anyone else. It’s just you and the mat.
But over the years, I’ve come to realize something else. The ego isn’t something to overcome. It’s us. It gives us confidence, drives us to achieve, and when in balance, helps us move forward with purpose. So for today’s Wise Walk, let’s slow down and check in with ourselves. How do we see the ego? Have we been conditioned to see it as bad, or can we start to see its healthy, positive role in our lives?
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- When you hear someone bring up the ego in conversation, do you automatically see it as a negative?
- Have you been taught to believe the ego prevents authenticity and real relationships?
- When was the last time you stopped to appreciate the positive aspects of your ego?
- Can you slow down and notice all the ways the ego supports you in healthy ways?
- Can we acknowledge the healthy side of the ego?
- Where in your life have you done something that surprised and delighted you? Do you take time to acknowledge it?
- Do you share your success with others and say, “Hey, this turned out better than I expected, and I’m really pleased with how it turned out”?
- Can you give yourself that acknowledgment because it’s genuine?
- Can you recognize that it’s authentic and not about diminishing anyone else’s power or contributions?
- Can you take a moment to appreciate and express gratitude for how far you’ve come?
- If you have a healthy relationship with your ego and acknowledge your successes, do you also take time to laugh at the moments when you fall short or fail?
- Can you put your ego aside and say, “You know what, I’m not perfect,” and accept that as part of life?
- Can you stay in balance by appreciating both your achievements and the times you fall short?
- Can you recognize that missing the mark is okay because there will always be more opportunities to try?
- If you’re honest about your failures, can you see how much you’ve learned from them?
- What has been your experience or understanding of the ego?
- Have you been influenced by the idea that ego should always be checked and seen as negative?
- Can you appreciate and thank the ego for all it does in your life?
- Can you recognize how the ego can serve both you and others in a positive way?
- Can you find balance by setting your ego aside when it’s not serving you and embracing it when it is?
Thank you for joining me on this Wise Walk. I’d love to hear what resonated with you from today’s episode. I hope you continue to grow and appreciate the healthy aspects of your ego as you move forward. Join me next Thursday for another conversation.
In this episode:
[03:30] When we think about ego, we don’t necessarily highlight the positives. It really helps us with our self-esteem and gives us self-confidence.
[04:21] If we are focused on achieving for the right reasons, the ego can’t be bad.
[05:23] If we can capture the child-like essence and be purely proud of when we achieve something in a way that brings joy, that’s a healthy type of ego.
[06:43] It’s okay to appreciate how well something turns out.
[08:16] One of the areas in my life where I’m acknowledging my ego driven success is in my cooking.
[09:57] Having balance is the key point in managing or appreciating our ego.
[12:19] A story about my mom being so proud of not falling while ice skating, which led to a lesson in stretching boundaries and trying new things.
[13:51] I love this story, because it gave me permission to try things and fail or fall.
[15:38] I love how the spiritual world has brought an awareness of ego and not trying to eliminate it, but to increase awareness.
[16:11] The duality of ego is important because without contrast we don’t know which way to go.
[17:35] Don’t get triggered by a side of the ego that’s not serving you.
[18:13] Acknowledge the ego in ways that serve us in healthy ways and when it needs to be checked.
Memorable Quotes:
- “The ego gives us our self-belief and our self-confidence to go after things that we really want. The ego also helps drive us to achieve.” – Mary Tess
- “I grew up knowing that it was OK to fail. It was OK to just literally fall, but we had to keep trying.” – Mary Tess
- “We nurture the positive side of the ego when we try new things, allowing us to build self-belief and confidence.” – Mary Tess
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