Last week was Valentine’s Day and as I ran errands I saw so many emotions about this holiday. At one store I saw people sending beautifully packaged gifts to their loved ones and at another I heard someone complaining about how much they hate the day and find it stressful or depressing.
These conversations led to a fun realization that many things like Valentine’s Day are just social constructs, things we attach emotions to for better or for worse. This got me thinking: What else in life do we accept as given when in reality we have the power to redefine our experience?
In this episode we explore how social agreements like holidays and traditions affect our emotions, and how our personal experiences shape our perception of certain events. We’ll talk about how to reclaim control over expectations and create meaning that aligns with our values. I’ll also share a new way to celebrate love not just on Valentine’s Day, but everyday and give you questions to help you examine what’s really important in your life.
Join me on this Wise Walk as we talk about societal expectations and how we can choose to shape our own reality.
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- As you reflect on Valentine’s Day, what emotions surface?
- Are they highs, lows, or somewhere in between?
- Does your experience change year to year based on what’s happening in your life?
- Why do you think this holiday affects your energy so strongly?
- How does the idea of love and caring influence your feelings about this holiday?
- Where are you giving your power away?
- What do you want to do about it?
- How do you want to design this day in your life?
- How can you take it one step further and apply this beyond Valentine’s Day?
- How are you designing your daily life around constructs that influence your energy?
- Can you recognize how these agreements shape your emotions?
- Can you shift them in a way that better serves you?
- Can you make strategic decisions to create a different experience for yourself?
- What feelings surface for you, and what choices or actions can you take to shift your energy?
- What areas of your life do you want to explore to determine what is made up and what is truly serving you?
- What can you start to examine and peel back to understand what is real?
- What is rooted in an agreement you made that you still want to honor?
- What is rooted in an agreement that no longer aligns with you?
- What steps can you take to change what no longer serves you?
- Where can you get curious about the belief systems or constructs shaping your life?
- How can you use them to your benefit so they align with you?
- How can you let go of what no longer serves you?
I’m so grateful you join me on these Wise Walks each week. So whether it’s Valentine’s Day, a Valentine’s year, or even a Valentine’s decade, let’s celebrate love, appreciation, and self-love in whatever way feels right to you.
I hope this episode gave you a fresh perspective and the freedom to create your own rules, or let go of the ones that no longer bring you joy. Stay curious, stay true to yourself, and I’ll see you on our next Wise Walk.
In this episode:
[04:03] As I reflect back, I realize there’s a lot of pressure around this holiday. I feel differently about it now that I’m single.
[05:15] My friend had a similar experience. Acknowledging people with a loving heart centered connection makes them light up.
[06:58] I was thinking of ways to practice self love and self care on Valentine’s Day and make up my own rules.
[07:19] I was even thinking about getting my taxes done as a way to practice self-love.
[09:15] What is real? So much is rooted in agreement as made up rules.
[10:50] In my conversations with Paul Cuneo, I’m exploring what is made up, what is true, and what is coded.
[13:56] Peeling back names and labels of religions out there, you realize a lot of the belief systems are more similar than not, but coded language creates differences, which are not necessarily true and real.
[14:27] We’re all entitled to our individual experiences.
[15:11] Deadlines are made up. Often we need them in order to get things done.
Memorable Quotes:
- “Valentine’s Day is every day. I don’t need a holiday to mark loving and caring and nurturing.” – Mary Tess
- “You are completely entitled to your individual experience. I am entitled to my individual experience.” – Mary Tess
- “There are so many things that are made up in this lifetime, like truly made up. There are made up constructs. There are made up holidays. And we attach emotions to them.” – Mary Tess
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