Ever had that moment where you’re sure you’ve won an argument but the victory feels hollow? I have. For the longest time I thought being right was the key to connection. Turns out it often does the opposite.
In this episode I’m sharing a big shift in my own thinking around what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”. What I used to consider a moral compass now feels like a self imposed limitation. I’ve been learning to sit with the idea that multiple truths can and do exist at the same time.
I’ll be sharing some stories from my own life and the lessons I’ve learned about how letting go of the need to be right has, ironically, led to a much deeper understanding of myself and the people around me. We’ll also talk about how perfectionism plays into this and the freedom that comes with embracing uncertainty and having your perspectives change.
If you’ve ever felt weird when you receive praise or found yourself stuck in black and white thinking, I invite you to join me on this Wise Walk. Let’s talk about what it really looks like to choose connection over being correct and find the wisdom that’s waiting for us in the gray areas.
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- Have you been in a heated discussion where someone ends up saying you’re right, but instead of feeling satisfied, you realize you just want to feel understood and connected on a deeper level?
- Have you ever been unsure if you’re right or wrong but still deeply wanted to feel seen, heard, and understood for what you’re going through?
- Are there moments in your life where you could shift your mindset away from black and white thinking and open yourself to the colorful shades of gray, letting go of comparison and competition?
- Are there areas in your life where you once felt absolutely certain about something, only to look back later and realize your perspective has changed?
- Can you see where your past attachment to being right may have limited your growth or kept you from new insights?
- Where in your life can you start approaching situations with a more cooperative rather than competitive mindset, allowing for a fuller expression of different truths?
- The next time someone says you’re right or wrong, can you notice what comes up in you and whether it invites more connection or causes a shutdown?
- What can you do in those moments to build trust, encourage dialogue, and bring people together rather than drive a wedge?
Thanks for spending this time with me. I hope this conversation helped you reflect on your own journey with right and wrong, and maybe gave you a new way to look at connection. I’ll be back next Thursday with another Wise Walk, so until then, keep tuning in, stay open, and get your stride on.
In this episode:
[04:33] I remember being passionate and advocating for what I firmly believed in. I felt sincere satisfaction when the other person said that I was right.
[05:04] This doesn’t always bring us closer together.
[06:33] We can all be right according to our own experiences. Maybe we can come to a sympathetic understanding.
[07:36] This also frees us from perfectionism.
[10:20] The more we learn. The more we realize we don’t know everything.
[12:17] We are constantly evolving.
[14:34] Saying you are right may stop the conversation.
[17:04] I’m at a state of life where I embrace being wrong. Being wrong is an opportunity for growth and to hear the other person’s experiences.
Memorable Quotes:
- “Being right doesn’t actually fulfill me. I just want to feel understood and connected on a deeper level.” – Mary Tess
- “I view being wrong as an opportunity for growth, to come together and see each other in ways that are deep and meaningful.” – Mary Tess
- “Let’s move away from comparison and competition and toward cooperation and curiosity.” – Mary Tess
Links and Resources: