Your value is an accrual of experiences! Embrace the good, the bad, the ugly and the downright complicated to awaken your joy!

238: Phone a Friend

by Mary Tess Rooney | Apr 17, 2025 | Podcast

Ever felt so overwhelmed that you knew you weren’t fully present, but didn’t know how to ask for help in the moment? That happened to me during an emotional week when my dog Trooper got seriously ill and in the middle of a conversation with the vet, I realized I just couldn’t take it all in alone.

On today’s Wise Walk we’re talking about knowing when to pause, when to call in support, and how to give ourselves permission to not have all the answers. We’ll explore what it means to honor your limitations, why asking for help isn’t a weakness, and how having a trusted sounding board can help you make better choices, especially in high-stakes or emotional moments.

Let’s slow down and get real about the power of phoning a friend, tuning into your energy, and creating space for clarity. Because sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for support and trust that you’re still the one in the driver’s seat.

- Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you knew you needed help, whether because you were low on energy or out of your depth?
- Is there someone in your life who knows you well enough to support you, ask the right questions, and help you navigate your options?
- What are different choices you can make for yourself in order to create the space you need?
- Are you willing to ask someone to pause mid-sentence and let them know you’re managing something and need a moment?
- Can you pull someone else into the conversation?
- Can you phone a friend?
- Can you have someone else join the meeting?
- Can you reschedule for a time when you’ve had more rest and can fully listen?
- If this idea turns you off, do you know why?
- Is there something about asking for help that creates a roadblock for you?
- Is there a situation in your life where you can relate to this and would consider calling someone next time?
- Can you look at opportunities in your life to ask for help or let a friend know you might call during an appointment?
- Can you also offer yourself as a phone-a-friend to someone else?
- Can you flip the script and say who you’re available to support?
- Where in your life are you stuck?
- Are you afraid to make a decision because you don’t want to make the wrong one?
- Can you give yourself permission to make a wrong decision and trust you can make another?
- Can you say, here is what I learned, and use that experience to guide your next step?
- As you continue gathering good information and support, will you give yourself the freedom to keep making choices?
- Will you allow yourself the space to make as many decisions as needed until you feel aligned, resolved, or fulfilled?

I hope you’re feeling energized and uplifted as you move through your day. I’m so grateful we had this time to go on a wise walk together, and I’m already looking forward to connecting again next Thursday.

In this episode:

[02:39] I had a very difficult week last week. There were things that I wanted to be there for, but that doesn’t mean they don’t take a toll.

[03:28] On top of feeling emotionally low, my dog Trooper got really sick.

[05:12] When the vet was explaining all of the options, I knew I needed to phone a friend, because I needed someone to listen to this conversation in partnership with me.

[06:45] My Aunt helped me process and make decisions.

[07:39] I love that I was self-aware enough in that moment to realize my own limitations.

[09:25] How many times do you feel overwhelmed and realize there’s an opportunity to pause and get help?

[11:45] The other opportunity where I employ this concept is when I’m going to doctor’s appointments that I can get overwhelmed with.

[12:38] Bringing different perspectives into a meeting together can give you really beautiful outputs.

[15:06] I’m going to continue to look for opportunities to ask for help where I need it and invite others into the conversation.

[16:44] When evaluating who you can reach out to when phoning a friend, make sure they have your best interest at heart.

[18:17] I’m going to continue to make decisions that benefit me, Trooper, and our family.

[19:54] Are you continually checking in with yourself and making sure that you’re at your optimal state for making decisions?

[20:24] Do you need to call and support if you’re not in your optimal state for making decisions?

Memorable Quotes:

“I love that I was self-aware enough in that moment to realize my own limitations.” – Mary Tess
“Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for support and trust that you’re still the one in the driver’s seat” – Mary Tess
“There are no final decisions. You’re like, OK, I made this decision. It didn’t work out. I’m going to make another decision.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

237: When Instinct Speaks, Listen

by Mary Tess Rooney | Apr 10, 2025 | Podcast

Ever had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right, but you didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t want to rock the boat? That happened to me recently on a night out with friends and it reminded me how often we suppress our instincts to keep others comfortable.

On today’s Wise Walk we’re listening to those inner nudges we so often push aside. We’ll talk about what it means to listen to your instincts, how societal norms can condition us to silence them and how honouring that voice inside can lead to more aligned, authentic choices. Let’s slow down and explore what it looks like to trust ourselves more – one step at a time.

- Have you found yourself in a pattern of suppressing your instincts for the sake of others?
- Are you aware when your instincts surface and how you typically respond to them?
- Do you fear your instincts because they might make someone else uncomfortable?
- When a feeling emerges, do you justify it or layer it with logic to avoid acting on it?
- Is suppressing your instincts serving you, or is it something you want to change?
- How can you bring more awareness to your instincts and choose which ones to honor?
- Which instincts feel aligned for you, and which ones feel safer to compartmentalize?
- Do you know the difference between what feels aligned and what just keeps the peace?
- Have you been in situations where your fight-or-flight response kicked in?
- Have you felt unheard or out of alignment, yet stayed quiet to avoid discomfort?
- Are you filtering your voice or emotions for the benefit of others?
- Is that practice truly aligned with you, or is it something you’d like to change?
- When can your instincts serve you—and maybe even benefit others by revealing deeper truths?
- Where in your life can you honor and thank your natural instincts for showing up?
- Are you clear on what your true instincts are, or have they been clouded by conditioning?
- Could you be mistaking thirst for hunger or ignoring cues your body is trying to give you?
- Where can you return to center, drop into your body, and really give it what it needs?
- How can you eliminate the noise and distractions to reconnect with your true instincts?

As you move through your week, take a moment to reflect—and thank your instincts for showing up, protecting you, and guiding you toward what truly feels aligned.

I’d love to hear what resonated with you from today’s episode, so don’t hesitate to share. And be sure to join me next Thursday for another Wise Walk Conversation. Until then, prioritize fun, honor those inner nudges, and get your stride on.

In this episode:

[02:45] An example of how I spoke up and didn’t suppress my instincts in a kind way.

[05:34] How one of my friends was embarrassed by me speaking up and having our needs met.

[06:35] We often suppress the instinctual reactions that are good for us.

[07:19] Another example from a friend of mine. Why can’t we express our feelings? It doesn’t have to be a hostile exchange.

[10:38] I discuss our natural instincts like eating, drinking, and sleeping.

[11:18] Humans have often been conditioned to suppress their instincts.

[12:38] Societal creations or norms are what challenge instincts just like the sweetness of donuts as opposed to ripe fruit.

[14:13] Interpreting cues from your own body and listening to your instincts. Be mindful of learned behaviors.

[15:01] How children aren’t inhibited.

[16:15] How we may numb ourselves when we’re disappointed for not speaking up.

[18:08] It’s okay not to speak up if you don’t feel comfortable. It’s important to be present and aware and notice what instincts are surfacing within you.

Memorable Quotes:

“Our instincts are still pure. What challenges that instinct is our societal creations or pressures or norms.” – Mary Tess
“It’s okay to not speak up if you don’t feel comfortable yet. But the most important thing is to be present and aware and notice what instincts are surfacing in you.” – Mary Tess
“As children, our instincts are pure and raw and real. Children have that beautiful quality of being just honest and direct.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

236: Making the Shift to 1st Place

by Mary Tess Rooney | Apr 3, 2025 | Podcast

Have you ever gone for a walk with no distractions – no music, no podcasts, just you and your thoughts wandering through nature? That’s what I did on my recent trip to Ireland, where I spent hours hiking through limestone formations and steep terrain. I just allowed myself to be present with whatever thoughts and feelings came up for me along the way.

Today we’re going on one of those Wise Walks together, and I’ll share a big realization that surfaced and cemented for me. We’ll explore how slowing down gives us the opportunity to check in with our reality, have those big “aha” moments and recognize when something no longer serves us – that point where we can finally say “I’m going to make a better choice for myself” and actually do it.

So let’s slow down, check our reality, and take a Wise Walk together.

- How often in your life are you slowing down?
- Are you listening to your heartbeat?
- Are you listening to your feelings, paying attention to your thoughts, and just seeing what surfaces?
- Are you acknowledging and creating some practices so you can unpack those feelings or thoughts in a deep and meaningful way?
- Are you journaling on whatever aha moment surfaces, or reaching out to a friend to ask to be a sounding board?
- What practices can you put in place so that when you get triggered or something surfaces, you can make a better choice for yourself?
- Where in your life are you putting others’ oxygen masks on first?
- Is it something you are ready to shift in your life?
- Can you make a new choice to send out a rippling message of: Yes, I made that choice that in the past, but I am done now.
- Is there a part of your energy you are ready to take back so you can put your own oxygen mask on first?
- Maybe you are already good at putting yourself first, and if so, that is amazing, but is there another opportunity in your life you want to shift?
- What are some ways you can own that shift and recognize that if you want others to respond to you differently, it has to start within you?
- Are you willing to behave differently, lead differently, and set a new example so that others know how to treat you?
- As you make these shifts in your life, are you willing to notice who applauds and supports you, even if it takes a little time?
- Are you open to seeing who respects your boundaries and who is surprised when you stop accepting sloppy seconds?
- Can you identify the people who say, I am so glad you told me, and yes, I can shift with you?
- Can you be mindful of whatever dynamic you are trying to shift, and whether those around you are truly supportive without stealing your energy or discounting your healthy boundaries?

We are all evolving and learning to make different choices that better align with who we are becoming. I am so grateful for your support on this journey and for being part of my evolution.

In this episode:

[05:13] One of the things I was unpacking in Ireland was whether I was putting myself first or not.

[06:09] It’s on me to make this shift happen.

[08:46] I used to justify when others hurt my feelings. I was putting their feelings first.

[10:19] I decided to speak up for myself when my feelings were hurt, because I want this dynamic to shift within myself.

[11:35] Pushing back felt like a relief and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

[12:14] I set a healthy boundary, and I’m so proud of myself.

[13:16] I love the idea of going on Wise Walks and looking at areas we may want to explore and shift.

[15:09] Can we surround ourselves with relationships that want us to put ourselves first?

Memorable Quotes:

“Celebrate those moments when you create the ripple, when people start to look at you differently because you are teaching them to treat you differently.” – Mary Tess
“You are the one who has to start behaving differently, leading differently, setting that example differently in order for others to treat you differently.” – Mary Tess
“If I want them to see that I am worthy of that first position in my own life, then I have to set that example.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

235: The Power of Holding Space

by Mary Tess Rooney | Mar 27, 2025 | Podcast

Have you ever been with someone who made you feel completely seen, heard, and safe — like you could just be your full self without any judgment? That’s the power of holding space, and that’s what we’re exploring today.
Someone recently asked me what I meant when I used that phrase, and it got me thinking — how often do we really slow down, eliminate distractions, and give someone our full, undivided presence? In this episode, I’m sharing what holding space looks like in practice, how it’s shown up in my coaching and personal life, and how you can try it out too — even with your pets.
So let’s slow down, check our reality, and take a wise walk together.
How can you create distraction-free spaces for authentic connection?
Who offers you a judgment-free sanctuary, and are you that sanctuary for others?
What does truly holding space mean beyond physical presence?
How can you listen without trying to fix or interrupt?
What prevents you from offering or receiving compassionate presence?
How might you transform listening into an act of love and respect?
I would love to hear what you took away from today’s episode. So feel free to reach out. And until next Thursday’s Wise Walk, please be sure to prioritize fun as you read the signs, direct your path and get your stride on.

In this episode:

[02:48] I adopted the phrase “holding space” in 2016 when I got my coaching certificate. It just made me very aware of a one-on-one conversation.
[03:38] With active listening you have to let go of your ego, focus and be present for the other person.
[04:06] Holding space is about showing up without judgment and distractions.
[05:46] I am here. I see you. I’m not going to comment. I’m going to give you a safe container to share.
[06:45] It’s about eliminating distractions and being present.

Memorable Quotes:

“Holding space means shutting off the distractions, letting go of my ego, and choosing to be fully present for whatever someone else is experiencing in that moment.” – Mary Tess

“Even in the chaos of everyday life, we can create sacred moments just by being intentional with our time, our energy, and our attention.” – Mary Tess

“There’s nothing more powerful than showing up with an open heart.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

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Someone recently asked me what I meant when I used that phrase, and it got me thinking — how often do we really slow down, eliminate distractions, and give someone our full, undivided presence? In this episode, I’m sharing what holding space looks like in practice, how it’s shown up in my coaching and personal life, and how you can try it out too — even with your pets.

So let’s slow down, check our reality, and take a wise walk together.

- How can you create distraction-free spaces for authentic connection?
- Who offers you a judgment-free sanctuary, and are you that sanctuary for others?
- What does truly holding space mean beyond physical presence?
- How can you listen without trying to fix or interrupt?
- What prevents you from offering or receiving compassionate presence?
- How might you transform listening into an act of love and respect?

I would love to hear what you took away from today’s episode. So feel free to reach out. And until next Thursday’s Wise Walk, please be sure to prioritize fun as you read the signs, direct your path and get your stride on.

In this episode:

[02:48] I adopted the phrase “holding space” in 2016 when I got my coaching certificate. It just made me very aware of a one-on-one conversation.

[03:38] With active listening you have to let go of your ego, focus and be present for the other person.

[04:06] Holding space is about showing up without judgment and distractions.

[05:46] I am here. I see you. I’m not going to comment. I’m going to give you a safe container to share.

[06:45] It’s about eliminating distractions and being present.

Memorable Quotes:

“Holding space means shutting off the distractions, letting go of my ego, and choosing to be fully present for whatever someone else is experiencing in that moment.” – Mary Tess
“Even in the chaos of everyday life, we can create sacred moments just by being intentional with our time, our energy, and our attention.” – Mary Tess
“There’s nothing more powerful than showing up with an open heart.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

234: Designing Alliances for Deeper Connections

by Mary Tess Rooney | Mar 20, 2025 | Podcast

You know that feeling when a conversation just flows effortlessly, when both people feel seen, heard, and understood? That’s no accident. It’s something we can actually design in our relationships.

I first learned about this concept during my coaching certification, where we practiced something called designing an alliance. It’s a simple but powerful way to set clear expectations upfront so both people walk away feeling valued and supported. And recently, I realized just how much this applies to all areas of life, whether it’s friendships, family, or even professional connections.

In today’s episode, I’m sharing how you can use this approach to create more meaningful interactions in your life. Plus, I’ll tell you about a dear friend of mine who had this down to an art, so much so that our time together was always intentional and fulfilling.

So let’s take a Wise Walk together and explore how designing an alliance can help you connect more deeply with the people who matter most.

What are the opportunities in your life where you can design an alliance with your family, friends, or co-workers to ensure quality time and mutual appreciation of each other’s needs?
Are you setting the stage to communicate what you need in return, and are you doing that in a way that enhances your relationships?
What are the ways you’re bringing this concept into your life to create meaningful conversations and exchanges with those around you?
Are there relationships in your life where you naturally design an alliance or upfront contract expectations, and do you do this unconsciously?
Can you take a moment to appreciate and express gratitude for those relationships where you already hold space for each other to grow and feel understood?
In other relationships—whether work or personal—are there opportunities for you to create deeper understanding and communicate more proactively?
How can you honor the fact that we are all constantly evolving, and how can you adjust your communication and agreements to reflect changing needs?
What are the opportunities in your life to experiment with designing an alliance or an upfront contract, and how might this approach change your interactions?

I’d love to hear what resonated with you in today’s episode. Feel free to reach out, share your thoughts, and teach me something new—because I’m always curious. And be sure to join me next Thursday for another Wise Walk.

In this episode:

[04:06] How my friend JT and I would appreciate maximizing our time together by having an upfront contract when we spent time together.

[05:18] We designed an alliance with an upfront contract that allowed our relationship to grow.

[06:09] I have another friend who upfront contracts her priorities of sleep, eating well, and getting exercise.

[07:22] Think about whether you have relationships where there are opportunities to create this understanding and communicate proactively about what you both expect.

Memorable Quotes:

“Holding space for someone is about ensuring you’re on the same page, appreciating the roles you’re stepping into, and creating an environment where both people feel heard and understood.” – Mary Tess
“When we communicate our needs openly, we create deeper connections and allow our relationships to evolve in a way that serves both people.” – Mary Tess
“When we design an alliance, we create space for understanding, respect, and meaningful connection.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

233: Discovering a Beginner’s Mindset

by Mary Tess Rooney | Mar 13, 2025 | Podcast

I recently went shopping for hiking boots at REI, and even though I’ve hiked plenty in my lifetime, I approached it as if I were a total beginner. I have super narrow feet, so finding the right fit is key, but what really surprised me was how much I learned just by getting curious.

The store associate introduced me to a new way to tie my boots called a surgeon’s knot, and it completely changed how my shoes fit and feel. What I love about this experience is how it reminded me that even when we think we know something inside and out, there is always room to learn. So for today’s Wise Walk, let’s slow down, check our reality, and ask ourselves these questions.

- Where in your life are you advanced or an expert in something, but in this moment, you wonder if you could learn something new?
- I wonder if there’s something that could enhance my experience or if there’s new equipment that might support me in a different way.
- How do I go about learning or confirming that what I already know to be true is still the best practice standard?
- As you look at your activities, passions, and experiences where you’ve already gained expertise, is there an opportunity to ask more questions?
- Is there an opportunity to hire a coach, trainer, or tutor to teach you what they know and help you see it from completely fresh eyes?
- Is there something you are active in that you’ve been doing for so long that you’ve forgotten that sense of fear?
- Is there an opportunity for you to appreciate that fear in a different way or take on a new challenge to get back into a beginner mindset?
- Where in your life can you embrace a beginner mindset, see what surfaces, discover where you grow, and explore what blossoms by stepping into new challenges or perspectives?

I invite you to get curious in your own life and explore where you can step into a beginner mindset. See what new opportunities unfold and what other aspects of you blossom as a result.

Thank you for listening and for joining me on this Wise Walk. I look forward to our next conversation next Thursday, so be sure to tune in. Until then, prioritize fun and keep embracing the journey.

In this episode:

[02:05] I love that, the gentleman helping me suggested a surgeon’s knot. I’m learning and now I can apply it to other shoes.

[03:55] The knot helps eliminate the give when hiking.

[04:21] I love the interaction. I learned a new trick and I also got curious about where else in my life I can start asking questions.

[06:05] When I was a ski instructor I was resistant to learn how to snowboard. When I finally relented and learned how to snowboard I also became a better ski instructor.

[07:40] Snowboarding helped me learn to relate to my students’ fear.

[09:00] I would like to get curious about and jump into the beginner’s mindset and learn pickleball. I would also like to explore golf.

Memorable Quotes:

“Even when we think we know something inside and out, there’s always room to learn.” – Mary Tess
“By staying curious and embracing new challenges, you can grow in unexpected ways.” – Mary Tess
“Get curious in your own life. See where you can step into this beginner mindset and discover what other aspects of you blossom as a result.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

232: Reunions & Rekindling Relationships

by Mary Tess Rooney | Mar 6, 2025 | Podcast

I’m headed to the United Kingdom, specifically Wales, to watch a Wrexham football match. Wrexham is in the European Football League, which we Americans call soccer, and it’s been incredibly exciting.

I don’t know if you’ve seen the Netflix documentary by Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney, but they bought this team, and it’s been amazing to watch them evolve and earn promotions. They’ve been doing really well, and it’s a blast to cheer them on.

I wouldn’t have discovered Wrexham or its strong sense of community if not for my good friends, Jenn and Cass. They live on the West Coast, and we’ve known each other for over 28 years. I haven’t seen them in person since before COVID, which is more than five years ago.

What I love about this Wrexham excitement is how it has reconnected us in a meaningful way. We’ve always been friends and supported each other, but this shared interest reignited and deepened our bond.

So for today’s Wise Walk, let’s slow down, check our reality, and ask ourselves these questions.

- What relationship in your life do you want to rekindle, reconnect, or reinvigorate?
- What shared interests might you bring in to energize it?
- How can you approach it differently and find new common ground?
- Could setting aside time for consistent reunions, virtual or in person, help?
- How can you reinvigorate meaningful relationships that have faded due to time, distance, or busyness?
- What steps can you take to refocus them in your life?
- Is there someone in your life that you would love to share one of your passions with?
- Do you think of a person often, still talk on the phone, and stay connected, but feel that life has evolved?
- What new interest could you find to bond over and elevate your conversations?
- How can you get energized and find reasons to show up and do things together, either in person or virtually?
- How can you grow together and show up for each other in this rekindled connection?
- How can you support each other as you reestablish and strengthen your friendship?
- What steps can you take to ensure your rekindled connection keeps getting better over time?
- Is there a relationship in your life that maintains deep connections across time, distance, and space?
- Have you expressed to that person how important your connection is to you?
- Have you let them know you appreciate being in this together and look forward to evolving together?
- Are you open to finding new shared interests to strengthen your bond?
- Do you make an effort to learn about what’s happening in their life beyond your shared interests?
- How can you show up and pay more attention to deepen your connection?
- What is the rhythm of your relationships and how can you honor that rhythm to keep them alive?
- Are you in a relationship where you can naturally ebb and flow, calling and catching up as you can?
- Do you need to be more scheduled and intentional about securing time to nurture your relationship?
- Can you plan a joint activity that you both look forward to, whether it’s local or abroad?
- How can you maintain consistent touchpoints while also planning special events to cherish together?
- What steps can you take to create a balance between regular communication and memorable shared experiences?

As we wrap up, remember to stay curious and open-minded in your relationships. Embrace new opportunities for joy and fun, allowing your connections to evolve while fostering personal growth.

Keep the spirit of friendship alive, whether you’re cheering for your favorite team or embarking on your own adventures. Until our next Wise Walk, tune in every Thursday for a new episode.

In this episode:

[03:46] A quick recap of my relationships with Jenn and Cass.

[05:13] We’ve reunited because of our shared interest in football.

[06:02] It’s so nice to know that you can rekindle a relationship and that passion you share spans time and distance.

[07:51] I’m in Northern Florida and Jenn and Cass are in Northern California. We’re 3,000 miles apart and Wales is across the pond.

[08:30] Technology has a beautiful way of bringing us all together.

[10:59] I’m excited about the match and a reunion with Jenn. Unfortunately, Cass isn’t going to be able to make the trip.

[11:31] We are open to appreciating the friends we have, and expanding and growing our circles.

[14:14] It’s important to be open and curious in relationships.

Memorable Quotes:

“When you have a relationship with those deep roots, and even if life has evolved and things have changed, it’s so easy to reestablish that connection with just a little bit of spark.” – Mary Tess
“It’s beautiful when you can figure out what is the rhythm of the relationships and how can you keep them alive honoring that rhythm.” – Mary Tess
“We are at a phase in life where we are appreciating the friends we have. And then we’re also growing in relationships with individuals that share common interests.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

231: Gratitude for Growth

by Mary Tess Rooney | Feb 27, 2025 | Podcast

I had an unexpected moment this week that made me stop and reflect. My trusty 2019 MacBook Pro – my sidekick through writing a book, producing this podcast and countless creative projects – finally reached the end of the road. As I stood at the Apple Store and heard the words “It’s time to say goodbye” I felt an emotional pang I didn’t expect.

Why is letting go so hard even when we know we need to? What happens when we hold on too tightly to things – objects, identities, relationships, beliefs – that have served us well but no longer serve us?

In this episode we explore the art of releasing what no longer fits so we can make space for what’s next. We’ll talk about embracing change, honouring the past with gratitude and stepping into new phases of life with intention. I’ll share some personal stories about outgrowing old habits, shifting perspectives and the freedom that comes with leaving the past behind.

Join me on this Wise Walk as we look at what we’re ready to release and how we can step forward with clarity and confidence.

- Even when it is hard to let something go, can you find gratitude for the growth it brought you?
- Can you appreciate everything that item, relationship, or experience gifted you during your time with it?
- Can you honor it, release it, and make space for something new in your life?
- Are you ready to step into the new version of yourself that you are evolving into?
- What do you need to let go of right now?
- Is there something you are holding onto too tightly because it has gotten you to where you are today?
- How can you release it?
- What do you want to invite into that space intentionally? Instead of leaving it to chance, what are you consciously welcoming in?
- Are there relationships in your life that no longer feel aligned, and would you benefit from releasing them to make space for new ones?
- Are there interests that were once part of your identity but no longer serve you, even though they brought you joy?
- Are you in a different phase of life where new interests might better serve you?
- Are there beliefs, thought patterns, or ideas that no longer support your growth, and are you open to releasing them?
- Do you feel shame about things you shouldn’t, or compare yourself to others in ways that hold you back?
- Are you holding onto clothing, habits, or identities that once served you but no longer align with who you are becoming?
- Can you open yourself up to growth, expansion, and new possibilities by letting go of what no longer fits?

I’d love to hear about the changes you are intentionally making to create space for growth and expansion. Share what’s on your heart and how you plan to move forward.

As always, I’d love to know what resonated with you from today’s episode. Feel free to reach out and share your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you.

In this episode:

[02:39] I was attached to my old computer, because of all I accomplished with it. I know it’s time to grow and embrace the new.

[03:58] Healthy plants need to be transferred to larger pots or they won’t be able to grow. We need to create space for expansion.

[05:23] There are so many things I’ve outgrown from heels to relationships.

[06:50] With each release we can grow more and more into the people that we are meant to be.

[07:08] I’ve also outgrown shame.

[08:24] I’m also embracing my gray hair and the idea of who I once was.

[10:03] It took me a while to accept and release that I became a walker and a hiker instead of a runner.

[11:44] It’s a beautiful thing when we can let go of what we want and possessions that got us where we are.

[14:09] Let’s just honor where we are. Let’s give gratitude for the growth in your life, whether it is forced upon you or of your own choosing.

Memorable Quotes:

“Even when it is hard to let something go, can you find gratitude for the growth it brought you?” – Mary Tess
“We are all in this perpetual evolution, looking to release things in order to reach our highest and best selves.” – Mary Tess
“Every phase of life invites us to shed the old and step into the new with clarity and confidence.” – Mary Tess

Links and Resources:

EP230: How Constructs Shape Emotions

by Mary Tess Rooney | Feb 20, 2025 | Podcast

Last week was Valentine’s Day and as I ran errands I saw so many emotions about this holiday. At one store I saw people sending beautifully packaged gifts to their loved ones and at another I heard someone complaining about how much they hate the day and find it stressful or depressing.

These conversations led to a fun realization that many things like Valentine’s Day are just social constructs, things we attach emotions to for better or for worse. This got me thinking: What else in life do we accept as given when in reality we have the power to redefine our experience?

In this episode we explore how social agreements like holidays and traditions affect our emotions, and how our personal experiences shape our perception of certain events. We’ll talk about how to reclaim control over expectations and create meaning that aligns with our values. I’ll also share a new way to celebrate love not just on Valentine’s Day, but everyday and give you questions to help you examine what’s really important in your life.

Join me on this Wise Walk as we talk about societal expectations and how we can choose to shape our own reality.

- As you reflect on Valentine’s Day, what emotions surface?
- Are they highs, lows, or somewhere in between?
- Does your experience change year to year based on what’s happening in your life?
- Why do you think this holiday affects your energy so strongly?
- How does the idea of love and caring influence your feelings about this holiday?
- Where are you giving your power away?
- What do you want to do about it?
- How do you want to design this day in your life?
- How can you take it one step further and apply this beyond Valentine’s Day?
- How are you designing your daily life around constructs that influence your energy?
- Can you recognize how these agreements shape your emotions?
- Can you shift them in a way that better serves you?
- Can you make strategic decisions to create a different experience for yourself?
- What feelings surface for you, and what choices or actions can you take to shift your energy?
- What areas of your life do you want to explore to determine what is made up and what is truly serving you?
- What can you start to examine and peel back to understand what is real?
- What is rooted in an agreement you made that you still want to honor?
- What is rooted in an agreement that no longer aligns with you?
- What steps can you take to change what no longer serves you?
- Where can you get curious about the belief systems or constructs shaping your life?
- How can you use them to your benefit so they align with you?
- How can you let go of what no longer serves you?

I’m so grateful you join me on these Wise Walks each week. So whether it’s Valentine’s Day, a Valentine’s year, or even a Valentine’s decade, let’s celebrate love, appreciation, and self-love in whatever way feels right to you.

I hope this episode gave you a fresh perspective and the freedom to create your own rules, or let go of the ones that no longer bring you joy. Stay curious, stay true to yourself, and I’ll see you on our next Wise Walk.

In this episode:

[04:03] As I reflect back, I realize there’s a lot of pressure around this holiday. I feel differently about it now that I’m single.

[05:15] My friend had a similar experience. Acknowledging people with a loving heart centered connection makes them light up.

[06:58] I was thinking of ways to practice self love and self care on Valentine’s Day and make up my own rules.

[07:19] I was even thinking about getting my taxes done as a way to practice self-love.

[09:15] What is real? So much is rooted in agreement as made up rules.

[10:50] In my conversations with Paul Cuneo, I’m exploring what is made up, what is true, and what is coded.

[13:56] Peeling back names and labels of religions out there, you realize a lot of the belief systems are more similar than not, but coded language creates differences, which are not necessarily true and real.

[14:27] We’re all entitled to our individual experiences.

[15:11] Deadlines are made up. Often we need them in order to get things done.

Memorable Quotes:

“Valentine’s Day is every day. I don’t need a holiday to mark loving and caring and nurturing.” – Mary Tess
“You are completely entitled to your individual experience. I am entitled to my individual experience.” – Mary Tess
“There are so many things that are made up in this lifetime, like truly made up. There are made up constructs. There are made up holidays. And we attach emotions to them.” – Mary Tess

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